a year ago today, we were told that we had twin to twin transfusion syndrome.
we were told that there was a high chance that our girls would not live.
we were scared.
we were overwhelmed.
we were heartbroken.
one year ago, we got on our knees and prayed for these little lives. i poured out my heart, begging and pleading for God to intervene and to heal them. i cried so many tears over the next days, weeks, months.
and yet i was at peace. a peace that truly can only be described as passing all understanding.
because when something is so big that you just can't handle it, you can give it over to God to carry for you.
and that He did.
He took our confusion, disappointment, anger, sadness, desperation, fear, stress, anxiety, and brokenness and carried it for us.
He gave us peace to trust Him......no matter what happened.
one year ago, we did not know what plan God had for their lives, but we trusted in Him.
He had never failed us.
He never fails us.
we had to trust Him.
we prayed for crying babies, the whining, the nighttime cuddles, the sleepless nights, the chaos of 3 kids, the first steps, the first smiles, the double everything!
but ultimately we prayed that the Lord's will be done in our lives and in theirs. that God be glorified no matter what and that our faith in Him would be a reflection of His love for us.
we would bless the name of the Lord no matter what.
the Lord answered our prayers....the prayers of many, many, many people. we had so many people praying for these little girls that it floods my heart and my eyes with emotions just thinking about it.
the doctors told us that we would need surgery. we didn't.
the doctors told us things would get worse. they didn't
the doctors told us that this condition does not regress. it did.
by the end of my pregnancy, everything was normal.
and here we are.
one year later, with two beautiful daughters.
we have sleepless nights, we have lots of crying, we have lots of baby holding, we have lots of belly laughs and smiles, we have stressful moments, we have slobbery kisses, we have lots of cuddles, and we have lots of chaos.
but everyday, no matter how tired, frustrated, worn down i am, i thank God for giving them to me.
having twins is really hard. i'm not going to lie.
but i wouldn't trade it. it is so wonderful too.
God has molded me into a better person, and is continuing to do so every day, through the gift of these two girls. even on days when i have failed in every possible way, God is teaching me and He reminds me of the grace he has shown us through the gift of these two girls.
i will bless the name of the Lord not because he healed my daughters and saved their lives, but because of what he taught us through that trial.
i will bless His name because He is good no matter what He does in our lives, no matter what our circumstances are.
this is beautiful! thanks for sharing steph.
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