I remember being stricken with fear at the thought of going to high school. I wasn't terrified of switching classes or bullies or SATs or anything like that. I was terrified of having no friends because I was a Christian. I thought that if I stood up for my faith, then no one would like me. I thought that if I told people what i believed, then somehow that would make me weird. And you know what? It did make me weird at times. There were times where it was easy to talk about going to church or summer camp. There were times when it was easy to not curse and not drink. But there were times that were hard when I was laughed at for not having sex, judged for not cheating on a test and made fun of for being modest. There were times that I felt I was bold and times where I did take the easy way out and kept my mouth closed.
I was naive and young and I'm embarrassed at my timidity in my faith. Or my lack of faith where I thought that fitting in was sometimes more important than standing on the truth.
And yet, overall, I still tried to do the right Christian thing.
And don't worry, I still had friends.
Everyday we are faced with decisions on how we are going to react to our surroundings and to people where our faith is tested. Some decisions are easy, some are not. What might be hard for me today may be easier tomorrow. I am tested on how I treat my husband, with love and respect. I am tested on how I treat my children, even if they did just poop on the floor or are whining incessantly to watch tv. I am tested on my honesty when I leave the grocery store at 5:45 with all 3 children only to discover I did not pay for the dog food on the bottom of my cart. I am tested on how I handle being cut off on the road while driving home and modeling good behavior for my 3 year old (and judging by the fact that he yells 'get out of the way!' to everyone who stops in front of us I think I may have acted poorly on occasion.) But we make choices daily that reflect who we are and what we believe. As Christians, we have an even higher calling to set the example of Christ and Bible-centered living.
Enter the gay marriage debate.
I must say that I am turned off by all the Facebook banter about gay marriage and the ugliness that it is causing. Gay rights and abortion debates will divide people like nothing else. Serious, passionate issues have a way of doing that.
The issue of gay marriage brings so much more to the table to me than just same sex marriage, marriage equality and the practice of homosexuality. And maybe because this is Holy week on top of all the political drama I am thinking more about all of these things.
Because if you have read this blog for very long, you know I do not talk about politics or the like.
But this issue for me is so centered on truth. Biblical truth.
When I claim to be a Christian, I am acknowledging the truth that Christ died on the cross and that he rose on the 3rd day, conquering death, so that I may have eternal life and be free from the bondage of sin.
I am claiming the Bible as truth.
I think our culture thinks that the Bible may not be as applicable to our day in age because things have changed so drastically in the last hundred years. There are more questionable or "gray" issues, as us Christians like to call it, than ever before. Generations past had things more black and white, things are just different today and the Bible cannot be interpreted as literally as before.
Wrong.
The Bible is truth and you either believe it or you don't.
There is not room for my personal opinion. If God had wanted my opinion, then he would have asked me. Instead, He asked me to rely on his word and His guidance for my life.
When it comes to gay marriage, and every other issue for that matter, I think as a Christian you need to go straight to the Bible. The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. End of story.
But like I said, for me this goes beyond just this one issue.
I have had numerous conversations over the last few years with other Christians about those "gray" areas. And I think that we like to make them more gray than they actually are. Child rearing, money management, entertainment, friendships, social behaviors.....all issues where we feel as Christians there are liberties that can be taken. All areas where we see a wide range of views and opinions. But if we truly look into God's word and ask what he wants from us and how he wants us to handle these areas, we will find the answer....and we may not like it. All these issues come back to basic truths in the Bible. Take the area of social relationships.
We recently had a discussion about with friends from church about giving to the poor. One man wanted to know exactly when he should and should not give to the poor, how to tell if his giving would be well used. Well, Proverbs 21:13 says "Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered." Have you looked at how your time and money is being spent on those in need? I know I need to.
And what about the way I spend my time? Proverbs 2:2 says "make your ear attentive to wisdom and incline your heart to understanding." How can I be attentive to wisdom if I am not reading my Bible and spending time studying his word? How can I justify sleeping in instead of going to church or spending hours on the internet and Facebook but not take time to teach my children God's truths?
Am I making any sense here?
I guess what I am getting at is the Bible is truth. The only truth. And my opinions and your opinions don't really matter when we are followers of Christ. The only opinion that matters is the Lord's. And He has set boundaries and guidelines for everything in our life, including marriage.
I am such a failure in so many ways....we all are. It is called being a sinner.
However, I have truth in my life and in every area I want to try to follow that truth. That means in my political positions as well as in the ways I model honesty, forgiveness, love, and discipline to my kids.
There have been times I still feel like that 14 year old girl, terrified that no one will like me because I believe in Christ.
But truly, these days, I just. don't. care. I will be judged as ignorant, closed-minded, unloving and hateful because I am against gay marriage. I am running over tons of toes here. But I refuse to apologize for following the truth laid out for my in the Bible, on my view on gay marriage or on anything else.
I had a conversation with a friend last summer about movies and I told her how God convicted me to really look at what I was watching and see if it was worth the hours I was spending. I cut out most of my tv and movie watching and I actually felt guilty about talking to her about this, like I should apologize for wanting to fill my time and my mind with better things. I felt guilty for telling her about how God was changing me to be more like Him, to be a better example to my kids. Why? Because I was afraid she wouldn't like me. I was afraid that she would call me 'holier than thou' for trying to be a better follower of Christ. Pslams 19:14 says "let the meditations of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer".
I want this in my life and I will not apologize for it.
I want to have God's truth in every area and while I fail daily (let's me honest, hourly) at this, I want to live a more holy life.
It is sad when us Christians tear each other down just to make ourselves and our views feel justified. I am so guilty to this too.
Sooooooooo, all this to say, in light of holy week and a week full of drama as our nation is so divided, I want to challenge myself, and anyone else, to stand on the Truth. Look into God's word and let His truth move you where you need to be moved.
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