Sunday, June 29, 2014

Striking a balance at five months.

We have been in California for five months!  
While we still feel new and still adjusting to a lot, we also feel like we are home.
And I really did not know if I would be able to say that as we left our beloved town of Waco after being there more than a decade.  But we do feel at home and are loving the area where God dropped us.  
There has been so many things to adjust to that there have been a lot of moments where we have felt overwhlemed.  
I think if this had just been a move to a new house or a new town or a job change it would have been crazy enough.  But all those plus leaving family, changing time zones, changing entire careers and getting a whole new family schedule.....well, let's just say it has been wild five months.
But truly it has also been great.
Brenner loves his chaplain work.  He seriously was made for this.
Although I laugh as I write that because if you know Brenner, he was made to do a lot of things and always does them well.
sometimes that is a little annoying :)
His days are long as he tries to keep up with all the regular duties of his job, which includes a lot of unexpected things.  He has also decided to relive college intramurals by joining in on the volleyball and softball teams which he told me last week "I'm getting too old for this, even though I'm still awesome"
Back when we were first married and Brenner had decided to start his own business, I was still in undergrad at Baylor.  Our priorities in life were us.
It was about our careers, our goals, what we wanted.
Funny thing is, we thought we knew it all and that we were right on track.
For years we lived like that.  And for years we suffered, even though we did not always know it.
God breaking us 5 years ago, both individually and as a couple was the most amazing and life altering thing.  I know I have talked about it here before, but we were people desperately needing to be broken of living for the wrong things.
Now, here in California, here in the Air Force, I cannot believe my life.
I cannot believe how much I have changed, how much Brenner has changed and how much our life purpose is different.
To hear and see Brenner pour out his heart and work so hard just to build relationships with the people that he meets amazes me.  His purpose has become so much more than just himself.
God has also blessed me with so many opportunities to serve and to know people.
In fact, I feel God calling me to so much that I am getting overwhlemed.
I think that He is making up for all the years where I said no and stopped listening to Him :)
We never could have imagined being used in this place where we have landed.

I guess that I will never cease to be amazed at the way that God orchestrates His plan perfectly.
And that is a good thing because I never want to think that I know better than God.  I want to be amazed at His work because He is amazing!  
But, like I said, every day has not been easy.
This transition has been hard and tiring.  Like really, really tiring.
There have been many days where we feel we are barely keeping afloat because of all the many things that need to get done.  Brenner's work days are often longer than they were and after the kids go to bed he is often having to do work for his projects still going in Waco.  My kids, who all have the love languages of quality time and physical touch, demand a lot of my attention which I give them because they are my number one priority.  Therefore most of the house, garden, chickens, yard work and email stuff gets done either really early or really late in the day.  Which makes our long days longer.
Each day is a struggle to find the balance of what needs to be done...but that is no different then anyone else.  We are all trying to do that.
And some days I think we did it well and other days are a colossal failure.  
But at the end of all those days, whether they end in peace or in tears, whether the kitchen is clean or laundry has piled up for a week, whether Brenner has spent the day counseling and helping marriages or hugging young airmen at a memorial service, we are so content and filled by our new calling to the Air Force.  We are grateful for the chance to make a difference here.
We are thankful that God is using us and redeeming our hearts after years of going in the wrong direction.

And, after about two years of wanting to update the look of the blog, I finally did it!  Hooray!

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