Tuesday, October 13, 2015

More than what is in front of me

There has been so much going on lately.  Both around me and inside of me and it came to a halt yesterday morning.  I want more than this.  I want more than what is right in front of me everyday.  I want more than what I think is good or best for me.  I want Jesus. 

One of the things that I try to talk to my kids about regularly, especially Cole, is that the whole point of our life, the whole mission of our life, the one thing that we need to do with every step we take is bring glory to God.  God created this earth to bring himself glory.  He did not do it because he had to, he did it to bring glory unto himself.  We are a part of it, being created in the image of our creator, for the purpose of giving glory to God. 
And how do I best give God the glory? I give my life to him.  I meditate on his word, I try to imitate him in my words and actions and I try to throw glory his way with the way that I live my life.  The problem lies in the fact that I am a sinner that loses focus sometimes and gets caught up in life and self and the world around me.  Sadly, there are days where I think the world does, or should, revolve around me and I am slammed at some point with the reality that I am not worthy of anything.  I humbly crawl back to God, get up and try again.  

Our patterns as humans usually goes this way:  seek eyes on something, decide to get it, try to get it.  Then we either get what our heart desired or we don’t.  Either way, we mess up and go over bumps along the way and we figure out if what we sought after is fulfilling in life and in line with God’s plan or do we need to start over and set our sights on something else.  But in Luke 10:42, Jesus tells Martha that the one thing necessary, the ONE and only thing that needs to be done, is to sit at the feet of Jesus as a follower of Him.
I was overcome with the thought that of all the things in my life that I have gone after, striven for and attained, I want Jesus.  I want to give God the glory in my life, in all things.  I want that more that anything else.  I want it more than the reality of life before me.  I want to give God glory more than my aching heart’s desire to have my husband home.  I want it more than to keep my children safe in my arms, more than my most precious people.  I want it more than the security and the breath of life in my next day.  I want Jesus more, I want to glorify Him.
I have not had to walk this out the way many others have.  I have not had to make some of the hardest decisions of letting go of those most precious things as a test of my faith.  But I know that deep in my heart, what I know to be truth, is that I want and I need Jesus above all else.  This is a one time choice to live for Christ and this is a daily choice of living for Him in my everyday life.  This is a bumpy, messy, imperfect road that I pray I can bring Him glory while I’m on it, that I will teach my kids to bring Him glory with me.