we are a mere week away from the twins arrival. i cannot believe that we have made it this far!
i have about 20 different emotions per minute these days, and it is not just because i currently have the hormones for 3 females, although i am sure it plays a part.
i am so excited about meeting these little girls and beginning life as a family of 5!
i am nervous about nursing 2 babies and all those logistics.
i am thrilled about not being pregnant for a long time.
i am overwhelmed at thinking about meeting all the needs of my family daily.
i am a little sad about having to give up my days of just me and little man.
on this last point, i know that cole will adjust to being the oldest of 3 and will love being the big brother. i know my heart will not love him any less just because there are 2 more babies now to love. but i am honestly a little sad that he won't be my only baby. and yet i want a big family.
i know that this sounds crazy and contradictory.
but i don't think i realized emotionally how hard this would be on me. cole and i have spent most of our days together, especially since i stopped working 9 months ago.
since brenner works out of the house, we are blessed to be able to see him a lot throughout most days. but most activities are just mommy and cole.
it is going to be hard giving that up.
because we will not be able to just pick up and go to the park or go down the street to get a cupcake or go to the children's museum because we have nothing else planned.
life is about to seriously change!
at least we will be giving these things up for a while.
because my mind cannot work out how i will take 2 nursing infants and a potty training toddler out in public by myself for a very long time.
i am trying to cherish each day i have left with my little man before the craziness begins!
Good posts, as of late. Get them in while you can.
ReplyDeleteAlso, did I leave my green plaid shirt in Waco?
ReplyDeleteAwwww..I can only imagine how sad you are to give up the days of just you and Cole. I have thoughts all the time about feeling like I am cheating on Cilla if we have another baby. It is probably more sadness from the mommies than from the little ones! But, I can understand where you are coming from! You guys will be great and will do great!
ReplyDeleteSteph, I can totally relate to your feelings. When I was expecting Dominic, I felt like I was depriving Charlotte of her babyhood. I loved being able to focus on just her but as our family grew, I realized that she will have her brothers, God willing, much longer than she will have me. Those girls are your gift to Cole.
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