bad sister.

sometimes when sister gets hungry and there ain't a mama around, 

she turns on me.  

she sucks my head and just won't stop.

mama, please help a sister out. 

love, elise

be prepared.

my mom left last week.  

waaaaaaaaa!!!
i am in denial that i will have to start doing more things myself....like go to the grocery store.  with 3 children.  eeeek.
anyway,

 in anticipation of her departure, i decided to plan ahead and to make some meals that i can freeze for the days when the number of crying children and butts to wipe outweigh the minutes that i have to fix dinner.
enter pinterest.  
oh how i love that website.
i found 4 crock pot freezer recipes that i doubled and prepped and popped in the freezer.
here is one recipe that i used: healthy mama bbq.
here are the other 3 recipes that i used: teriyaki chicken, savory chicken, and lazy day stew.
i modified the teriyaki chicken recipe (the sauce part) but the others i followed.   

so here are the finished products.  i am so happy that there will be 8 healthy, yummy (i hope) meals that i will not have to think about in the future.
not the same as having your mom around but at least this will give me more time to cry over the fact that she is gone.

instagram.

here are a couple photos my mom snapped with instagram.  

is this not the cutest picture??????

let me answer that for you.

yes, it is.

 mama and clara.  

soooo tired.

our first bows.

the girls wore their first bows last week.  

i am so not a bow and frilly girl, so i think accessorizing these beauties may be a challenge in the future, but i must say that these girls are pretty darn cute with their little bows.

one month. and what i have learned.

has it really been one month already?  

i am trying to make it through each day with my head on straight while at the same time, cherish this sweet time with my babies.  

here are some things that i have learned since becoming a mother of 3.  

2 out of 3 clean children are not bad.  actually, one clean child is great.  

let's be honest, i can live with dirty children.
don't judge me.

nursing twins means i am hungry all. the. time.  

a new snack schedule has emerged that includes midnight and 4 am.  cereal is being consumed by the pound.  so are chocolate chips.  and chocolate chip cookies.  

seriously, people.  bring me your baked goods.  

someone is going to cry.  

i cannot meet everyone's needs at the same time. 

most of the time, i am wiping someone or something.

lovely.

patience is something that must be practiced in order to get better at it.  and while we are far from perfect,  God is showing me the value of patience with my children.  ok, toddler.

it takes us approximately 45 minutes to leave the house.  

we will never be on time anywhere again.

going to the grocery store by yourself, which i did today, is now a thrill.

and probably will be for a long time.  

so sad, yet so true.

there is nothing in the world like baby snuggles.
and times two really is twice as sweet.

most of the time. 

happy one month, my angels.  

(maybe next time clara beth will cooperate)

reflecting on this crazy pregnancy.

well, the girls are one month old.  

that is crazy to think about!  

and when i am up in the middle of the night feeding them, i have had lots of time to think about the last 9 months and the tumultuous journey that we went on to get these girls here.

i continue to be in complete awe of what the Lord has done for us.  

that we are blessed with these girls who are perfectly healthy after being told that they may not live at 20 weeks is still something that we are not taking for granted.
and i hope that we never take it for granted.
when we found out here about some complications, we were a little stunned because you never think that you will be the one with issues.
and then when we found out about the twin to twin transfusion here we were definitely a little overwhelmed about thinking about losing our girls.
and while over the course of the next 17 weeks we got good news week after week, it was still hard at times to not concentrate on the negative and let anxiety get the best of me at times.

but really, it was only fleeting moments of anxiety that came in weak moments when i would be consumed with selfishness and self pity.
the Lord would always bring me back to reality.
a reality in which my God can do anything, and proved that to me daily by taking away that anxiety and any doubt in my mind that He was in control of this situation.
for 99% of the time since october 4th, we lived in peace.
God's peace.
the doctors that worked with us in both houston and dallas told us that twin to twin transfusion does not regress.  and while the situation may not worsen (although they predicted that it would), they said that the girls' fluid levels would not return to normal and that we would not be able to make it to full term for delivery.
on several occasions, the doctors told us that they were surprised how well we were taking things, especially the initial diagnosis.  i guess most people just melt down in their office and freak out.
the fact that we said
well, not only did things not worsen, they returned to normal.
beyond normal.
and each week as i continued to be monitored by the specialists, they would tell me that things still looked good and the girls continued to grow.

this pregnancy could not have been more different from cole's, which was smooth and easy and focused more on the right bedding and registry than on prayers for my baby's life.  but i would not change either experience.  you learn more through the struggles of life and that makes you a better, deeper person.  how shallow would my life be if God did not test me, push me, and make me grow to be the person i am supposed to be.

we are amazed at God's work.  we are thankful for the two gifts that he has given us and i hope that i never take God's work in my life for granted.  i look forward to telling my girls their story, of their first 37 weeks of life, and all the reasons that they shouldn't be here.
and the Reason that they are.

last and first photos.

here is the last photo that we took as a family of 3 the night before the girls were born. 

 obviously it is not a framer, but it is reflective of our family, with brenner looking all GQ and cole not looking at all.  

and of course me in all my pregnant chubbiness.  

wow it feels good to not be pregnant anymore!

and of course our first photo as a family of 5. 

it's amazing how things change in an instant.

love my sweet family!

snug as bugs.

my sleeping beauties love to be swaddled. 

fortunately they are sleeping better most nights so i am able to get 2-3 hours of sleep between each feeding and this really helps them achieve this. 

 they prefer the fashionable straight jacket look of leopard print.

freedom.

here is a picture that i love.  

why?  

because although the photo itself is poor quality (courtesy of a cheap cell phone), it shows my girl taking her first bottle.  

bottle = freedom.  

and brenner even made clara hold the bottle herself.  

pretty impressive for a 3 week old.

i must also note that my husband graciously offered to keep the girls for a couple of hours while i went out of the house by myself.  it was, however, an offer of selfishness merely cloaked in kindness.  i found out that his window of watching the girls happened to coincide with round 1 of the big 12 basketball tournament where baylor played kansas state.  

but i will take what i can get. 

dancing bears.

we have a baylor bears mobile hanging over the girls' crib.  

this was cole's and we thought that we would continue the baylor brainwashing.  

however, i am slightly concerned about a grateful dead effect happening...dreams of dancing bears may not be psychologically healthy. 

 as you can see, elise is fascinated! 

backyard adventures.

recently our playtime outside has taken a twist. 

someone (otherwise known as the other parent) showed cole that big boys also go to the bathroom standing up....which is what you do when you are outside and have to go. 

do you see where this is going???

  so cole now feels nature calling him all the time while outside.  and therefore he must answer nature and drop his drawers.  nothing like looking outside and seeing your son with his pants at his ankles trying to be a big boy.  

unfortunately this is not limited to our own backyard.  no, that would be too lucky.  

let's just say trips to the park have also become....interesting....and full of looking for inconspicuous trees.  

feel free to judge us.  

these pictures are from yesterday when we were in our backyard and he was not standing as close to the bush as one needs to stand when doing such things.  therefore, the pants came off and we played like this.  

he'll be glad that i documented all these moments one day, right??