well, the girls are one month old.
that is crazy to think about!
and when i am up in the middle of the night feeding them, i have had lots of time to think about the last 9 months and the tumultuous journey that we went on to get these girls here.
i continue to be in complete awe of what the Lord has done for us.
that we are blessed with these girls who are perfectly healthy after being told that they may not live at 20 weeks is still something that we are not taking for granted.
and i hope that we never take it for granted.
when we found out here about some complications, we were a little stunned because you never think that you will be the one with issues.
and then when we found out about the twin to twin transfusion here we were definitely a little overwhelmed about thinking about losing our girls.
and while over the course of the next 17 weeks we got good news week after week, it was still hard at times to not concentrate on the negative and let anxiety get the best of me at times.
but really, it was only fleeting moments of anxiety that came in weak moments when i would be consumed with selfishness and self pity.
the Lord would always bring me back to reality.
a reality in which my God can do anything, and proved that to me daily by taking away that anxiety and any doubt in my mind that He was in control of this situation.
for 99% of the time since october 4th, we lived in peace.
God's peace.
the doctors that worked with us in both houston and dallas told us that twin to twin transfusion does not regress. and while the situation may not worsen (although they predicted that it would), they said that the girls' fluid levels would not return to normal and that we would not be able to make it to full term for delivery.
on several occasions, the doctors told us that they were surprised how well we were taking things, especially the initial diagnosis. i guess most people just melt down in their office and freak out.
the fact that we said
well, not only did things not worsen, they returned to normal.
beyond normal.
and each week as i continued to be monitored by the specialists, they would tell me that things still looked good and the girls continued to grow.
this pregnancy could not have been more different from cole's, which was smooth and easy and focused more on the right bedding and registry than on prayers for my baby's life. but i would not change either experience. you learn more through the struggles of life and that makes you a better, deeper person. how shallow would my life be if God did not test me, push me, and make me grow to be the person i am supposed to be.
we are amazed at God's work. we are thankful for the two gifts that he has given us and i hope that i never take God's work in my life for granted. i look forward to telling my girls their story, of their first 37 weeks of life, and all the reasons that they shouldn't be here.
and the Reason that they are.
and i hope that we never take it for granted.
when we found out here about some complications, we were a little stunned because you never think that you will be the one with issues.
and then when we found out about the twin to twin transfusion here we were definitely a little overwhelmed about thinking about losing our girls.
and while over the course of the next 17 weeks we got good news week after week, it was still hard at times to not concentrate on the negative and let anxiety get the best of me at times.
but really, it was only fleeting moments of anxiety that came in weak moments when i would be consumed with selfishness and self pity.
the Lord would always bring me back to reality.
a reality in which my God can do anything, and proved that to me daily by taking away that anxiety and any doubt in my mind that He was in control of this situation.
for 99% of the time since october 4th, we lived in peace.
God's peace.
the doctors that worked with us in both houston and dallas told us that twin to twin transfusion does not regress. and while the situation may not worsen (although they predicted that it would), they said that the girls' fluid levels would not return to normal and that we would not be able to make it to full term for delivery.
on several occasions, the doctors told us that they were surprised how well we were taking things, especially the initial diagnosis. i guess most people just melt down in their office and freak out.
the fact that we said
well, not only did things not worsen, they returned to normal.
beyond normal.
and each week as i continued to be monitored by the specialists, they would tell me that things still looked good and the girls continued to grow.
this pregnancy could not have been more different from cole's, which was smooth and easy and focused more on the right bedding and registry than on prayers for my baby's life. but i would not change either experience. you learn more through the struggles of life and that makes you a better, deeper person. how shallow would my life be if God did not test me, push me, and make me grow to be the person i am supposed to be.
we are amazed at God's work. we are thankful for the two gifts that he has given us and i hope that i never take God's work in my life for granted. i look forward to telling my girls their story, of their first 37 weeks of life, and all the reasons that they shouldn't be here.
and the Reason that they are.
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